Goodbyes in Nelson

 

My Grandad and I back in April, when we visited him at the hospital and had our last goodbye.

Kiri: We recently went to Nelson to go to my Grandad's funeral. He lived a good long life and at the end he was ready to go be with God. We'll miss him though, and I'll never forget the positive impact he had on my life. My Nanna died almost twenty years ago, so I don't remember her much. My American grandparents are both gone as well, so Grandad represented the last of that generation in my family.

 During the funeral I got to share a little about who he was and what he meant to me. It was hard to put things into words but I did my best. My Mum made it to Nelson just in time to say her farewell to him too, which was such a relief and we were all really grateful for this. At his funeral she (pictured at the podium on the right) shared about a portion of his life, as did each of his other three living children so that most of his life was covered. It was amazing to remember all the things he did during his life to help others and benefit the community he lived in. We saw this reflected in the many cards and flowers sent by others during this time. In general the Nelson community was very kind and supportive and had us into their homes for meals and visited the house to pay their respects.

The casket, scattered with leaves from his Liquidambar tree

In the above picture you can see the casket and on top of it his bible. We all were amazed by the highlighting (which you can see in the picture a bit). He spent time reading every day and tried to live out his faith in all he did. He held steadfast to what be believed and was an optimist until the end, rarely ever complaining.

Grandad's house for 50+ years, where my mother grew up and I have many fond memories.

Brian: There were several things that made an impression on me during the time before, and following Grandad's death, mostly I am left thinking that everything happens for a reason.  It was easy for some (particularly Grandad) to wonder why he had to continue suffering with cancer and diabetes, and through being bed-ridden with a broken hip.  Indeed, in the last months of his life, Grandad's quality of life probably seemed pretty low, but I think that the impact of his life during that time was very high.  I think the shared time at the end of Grandad's life was a time during which some relationships grew to a wonderful maturity.

While I visited him in the hospital, Grandad said some things that were very special to me and that I will always remember.  For my part, I told him some new jokes, although he was showing no signs of tiring of telling his old ones!  The timing of the visit itself was important to me.  Being underemployed for several months has been very frustrating to me, but being forced to focus on taking care of someone else was very refreshing and helped me to renew my outlook on the job search and life in a new place.

Kiri: After the funeral we spent the week resting and being with family. We shared a lot of stories about Grandad and the Cederman family life in their home. We looked at slides, cooked family recipes, and told old jokes. It was wonderful for processing and sharing what had passed.

Altogether though it feels strange, a certain sense of loss that I know many others before me have felt when a loved one is gone. I console myself by speculating that although these happy times and places have ended, others have already, and will continue to begin afresh.

The view from his potato patch in the backyard, surrounded by fruit trees and vines. A special place to me and others.

Brian:  It was that view from Grandad's house, our over Tahununui beach and the Tasman bay, that led us to be a part of an unusual event in Nelson.  I noticed a group of people standing down on the beach, and when I looked through my telephoto camera lens it appeared that they were standing around a large fish.  I decided to walk down the the beach (about 10 minutes down the hillside) to check it out.  As I came to the head of the beach, I realized that it was not a fish, but appeared to be a stranded dolphin - at that point I sent a message to Kiri and Mum to say that they should probably come check it out.  As I walked closer along the beach, I realized that this was about 3 times larger than any dolphin - it was in fact a Gray's beaked whale, also called a Scamperdown whale.  These whales only live in the Southern part of Southern hemisphere oceans - seeing one was pretty amazing, even though it was sad that it had died.

The reason this family of whales are called 'beaked whales'

Neither Kiri nor I had ever touched a whale before - it was incredibly smooth.

This whale was a 5.8 meter long female, quite large for this species and probably quite old.  These whales often beach themselves when they are ready to die, so it is thought that it may have been time for this whale to go naturally.  Whales are very important in Māori tradition, and several Māori locals performed a karakia, singing prayers and speaking blessings over the whale.  It was really special for us to be a part of that ceremony, as we both have deep respect for the indigenous people of NZ, and we couldn't help thinking of the great man whose loss we were grieving while honoring this great animal.

The whale was loaded on a palate and taken to a burial site elsewhere.  Haere rā tohorā (Goodbye whale).

We liked this photo because it looks like a tiny dog is standing on the whale, defending it from bystanders... accidental forced perspective photography

There was another unusual event later in the week as much of the South Island experienced unusually snowy winter storms.  No snow fell in usually 'sunny Nelson', but the surrounding mountain ranges had beautiful snowy peaks:

Kiri: Over the course of the week we spent time with several special friends. On one occasion we went for a short "tramp" in the nearby Brook Waimarama Sanctuary with Aliesha. I used to volunteer in this conservation area back in 2007 and found it refreshing to return and see the tiny baby native trees growing beside their giant majestic parents. A nice reminder that we're all just in different stages of life and hopefully will reach our potentials. Ok enough sappy stuff (no plant pun intended...).

Kiri looking up into a Hedycarya arborea (AKA pigeonwood or porokaiwhiri)

During our walk we were followed by a Rhipidura fuliginosa (New Zealand fantail), a lovely little bird that flits about you when you're in the bush. It tries to munch up delicious insects you disturb while walking. Have a look at our video!

The lookout from Prince's Drive, AKA my favorite place in the world. Aliesha and Brian were excellent company.

After our walk we made it back to the other side of town in time for a sunset across the Tasman Bay. It had been rainy a lot of the week, so we were happy to get this stunning view. I have had many contemplative moments sitting on this bench, where time seems to stop and the world slips away.

As Brian put it - "We're getting pretty serious"

On the trip back to Auckland, admiring the Marlborough Sounds through the window. Wondering what's out there next.